on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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