he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The adults are the big ones right?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
