I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
