i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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