his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i've created a new STD.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
