It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
