I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
