i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
