My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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