we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i will never coherently bang her
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
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Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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