I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
