we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize