i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
