Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
