the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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