i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
