I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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