She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize