Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
