what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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