I need help removing her.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
