SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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