I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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