never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
