I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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