I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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