I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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