I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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