guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
