I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
