Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
