So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
