haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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