My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
