Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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