I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
her vagine was all disorganized.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
