His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize