Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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