her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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