I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
