? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
