Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
