dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You need Xanax blowdarts
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
