my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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