Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
