I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
