So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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