Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
