I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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