dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
