I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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