she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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