8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Yup. One sock.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.