is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed