Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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