Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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