Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."