dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
