Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.

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  (512): I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck. http://tfl.nu/pefb
  Replies (8) Good night (1486) Bad night (1230)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon

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  (631): Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon http://tfl.nu/mdvf
  Replies (16) Good night (904) Bad night (4718)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.

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  (316): she thought the capital of kansas was topanga. http://tfl.nu/ge7r
  Replies (41) Good night (3735) Bad night (1552)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much

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  (248): today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much http://tfl.nu/3dmn
  Replies (26) Good night (10454) Bad night (1101)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"

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  (702): So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this" http://tfl.nu/lsrz
  Replies (17) Good night (4164) Bad night (1525)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I just found it. I hope it leads to food.

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  (302): Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm... (302): I just found it. I hope it leads to food. http://tfl.nu/w6o4
  Replies (7) Good night (1828) Bad night (611)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week

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  (724): I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week http://tfl.nu/5fel
  Replies (15) Good night (2006) Bad night (452)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or

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  (571): The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or http://tfl.nu/mgim
  Replies (10) Good night (1671) Bad night (577)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You need to be more adventurous.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way

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  (402): You need to be more adventurous. (1-402): I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way http://tfl.nu/a4mr
  Replies (4) Good night (1561) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you

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  (484): Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you http://tfl.nu/s4l7
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (351)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place

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  (575): Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place http://tfl.nu/vq1o
  Replies (10) Good night (413) Bad night (973)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.

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  (856): I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple. http://tfl.nu/po62
  Replies (9) Good night (994) Bad night (269)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"

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  (202): His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?" http://tfl.nu/rw07
  Replies (6) Good night (317) Bad night (552)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.

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  (309): And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left. http://tfl.nu/6io8
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.

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  (970): Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession. http://tfl.nu/fr3h
  Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (244)

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