sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
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I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What's dad's email?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old