I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
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Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
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I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.