I didn't shave. On purpose
I CAN MOONWALK!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
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I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.