It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves