so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
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Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind