He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Michael Bay diarrhea
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
