the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
