Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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