I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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