So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
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I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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