Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
