worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
organizing the empties. That sober.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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