At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
