Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
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Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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