just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
its liver damage thursday
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
